As we found out during a trip to Chelsea this weekend, a Family Business internship entails guarding art on a folding chair, in a roughly 10 x 10 foot closet space. You’re not getting paid, you don’t get a computer, and the gallery doesn’t sell anything, so you’re not exactly making useful contacts. Currently the gallery is packed with instruments, so there’s also a giant gong a few feet from your head which everybody’s invited to hit with a mallet. Sounds just like the “training which would be given in an educational environment” that is legally required of an unpaid internship, hahahahahaha!
But just for laughs, we thought we’d lay out a few academic or training scenarios which Massimiliano Gioni and Maurizio Cattelan had in mind when they tasked a presumably educated young hopeful to guard their art all day.
1. Some sort of monastic training, where you must spend your day sitting next to the prayer gong.
Is it similar? No. The monk-lings above look like they’re having a blast.
2. Security guard school
Is it similar? That’s an insult to security guards.
3. Training to be a 1950s switchboard operator
Is it similar? No, that led to a paid job.
4. Prefabricated Concrete Cell Quality Assurance Technician Training
Is it similar? Testing whether concrete cubes are up to being sat in? No, still more variety.
5. An Administrative Internship at the Wyckoff Heights Medical Center
Is it similar? No. You get free lunch and a holiday party.
6. Greeter at the World’s Smallest Wal-Mart
Is it similar? No, they get a sick blue vest. And money.
7. Cosmonaut intern
You get twenty rubles a week, and you have to wait by the phone in the Soyuz capsule.
Is it similar? Close. Spoilers: phones don’t work in space.
8. Object Permanence Confirm-er
You just sit in a room and every now and again someone calls you like “Does it still exist?” and you’re like “Yep.”
Is it similar? Yes, but that’s not a real job.
9. Assistant Secretary Internship
Will Brand was once one of two interns for the second most important secretary in the school. He sat next to a phone and parents would call in and say their kid was sick and he would say “okay” and write down that the kid was sick and hang up.
Is it similar? It wasn’t paid, but it was in an educational setting, so no.